My kinship wanted to do the turtle raid. We didn’t have enough people to do it without inviting people from outside the kin. One of the people we picked up was a guardian. The first thing we noticed about this guardian was his health pool. My squishy little runekeeper had the same amount of health as he did. An inspection of his traits revealed that he had terrible equipment. Many of the things he was wearing were quest rewards in dire need of replacement. His virtues had such gems as “Charity 9” and “Wisdom 4”. He also didn’t have his traits set up to hold agro.
My kin-mates were complaining about the guy on our teamspeak server before we started, but we went with him anyway. During the battle he had the attention of the turtle for about half the time. He just couldn’t hold agro. When the turtle was down to about 50k health, we wiped. I’ve seen turtle raids before, and if you wipe when it has 50k left, you’re in trouble.
I’ve been in situations like this before. Usually, I just grumble about someone not having worked on their traits and I trudge on, feeling like I have some extra burden to bear to make up for their poorly equipped character. But this time was different. This time, leadership had been passed to me after the raid was formed so that that I could tell all the different classes when to use their skills with some semblance of authority.
My kin mates continued to complain about the tank who couldn’t tank. They told me I should kick him. I knew we couldn’t beat it without swapping out some people, it’s true… but I really didn’t want to just kick him. That would make me feel terribly guilty.
My kinship mates started suggesting in raid chat that we remove the guardian. I think they were trying to make it easier for me to kick him, but it just made things more awkward. A conversation started in raid chat about asking him to leave. I didn’t mention how bad his traits or equipment were. Instead, I suggested that we swap out the lowest dps person for someone with more dps. He didn’t take well to it. He felt hurt by it. I think most of the raid felt uneasy about it. Why couldn’t he just gracefully leave after being asked to leave? Why did he have to argue and make me feel like such a monster?
I decided to put it to a vote. I enabled a ready-check and said, “If you want to try the raid without swapping anyone out, click ready”. Only 4 people didn’t click ready. I was a little disappointed with the result of that poll. I was hoping to say, “Hey, the raid agrees with me, we can’t beat it.” But even people who had been pestering for me to kick him were now against kicking. I felt like a witch with a capital B.
So I gave the order to prepare for another run. I sent a full raid to an assured death because I couldn’t bring myself to actually kick someone unwillingly out of the raid. After the second wipe, people started saying things like, “Well I’ve got to go…” and “Yeah I’m going to log as well.”
I felt horrible. I still do. I had to log off. I hope he didn’t take it personally. I hope the rest of the raid didn’t think me a monster for asking him to go. Honestly, I don’t care that we wiped against the turtle. A tiny repair bill doesn’t bother me as much as the tightness I feel in my chest right now.