When a Reddit poster detailed his 5 year old son’s guide on how to play Guild Wars 2, I knew I had to share the way my two daughters (3 and 6) play the game. These are two gamer girls in training, and I want to share their “correct” way of playing Guild Wars 2. Without further ado…
It’s coming right for us!
It is impossible not to kill the little grey bunnies. We’ve tried, but our instincts tell us they were put there to die. Mommy does not like us killing defenseless little bunnies. We tell her they go red and attack us. We still make sure that Mommy knows when Daddy kills the bunnies though, even if he pretends to say it’s for life force.
Dyes Are Critical
Dyes are not just there to find a likable array and be done. If you aren’t changing your character’s dye job every few minutes, you are not making your fashionable mark on the world. Reasons to change color include: camouflage, elemental attunement, racial synergy, enemy defiance, mirroring NPC’s, or styling off another character.
Reviving > All
Revive anything and everything. If you have the gall to differentiate between a computer-controlled NPC and a real player, you might as well play a bad guy. Reviving is the most important action of combat. It creates harmony.
Cities Are For BASE Jumping
Cities are some of the best places to be. There are lots of people to talk to, and you can jump from anywhere! The best way to test the worth of a player is to climb a tall structure while they wait below unawares of their fate. Then fling yourself from the ledge making sure to faceplant in the dirt at their feet. If they revive you make sure to say “ty!”. If not, have in-depth discussions on why this person is a horrible human being.
The best people to roleplay with are the NPCs. They walk around. They talk. They play tag. They are much better than all the “players” standing around trying to figure out how to entertain themselves. NPCs also enjoy if you sit with them for a spell. Plop down and tell them of your adventures. They can speak three-year old typing too, just be sure to tell them directly what you wrote. If a mama wurm comes to eat cows, go console the NPCs by crying near them. Other people will take care of the wurm. Who will take care of the NPCs? There is one exception: the workers sitting down in Queensdale are “lazy bums”, and must be told so. (Try not to laugh while doing so.)
Adventuring on a Full Stomach
Some very nice NPCs will give you food. Not as much as you want, but if you help people out they will give you all the applesauce you can eat! You can eat five at once and be okay. Always save some for later. You never know when you’ll be stuck in the cold “norm” city for awhile with nothing to warm yourself with.
Look to the Sky
No really, just look at the sky. Stop and stare at the stars. Look at the sun. Find shapes in the clouds. Breath deep, seek peace.
Best Wintersday Ever
We are sad that Wintersday has gone. Big sister loved playing in snowball fights. She cackled every time she was able to smash another player as a giant snowball. Little sister loved that Daddy got her a forever princess tonic. Did you know you could join princess parades in the cities? Everybody should learn how to slow down and stroll around like a princess. Take things in small strides (see also Look to the Sky above). We can’t wait for the next holiday!
Six! Six. SIX! Press Six!
We love to watch Daddy play Guild Wars 2. Our favorite is when he goes in to the World to fight enemy colors. We try and sneak in there with our characters, but Daddy tells us it’s really hard. As cheerleaders for Daddy we make sure he follows all our rules. We nicely ask him to press “H” every 5 minutes to make sure his dyes are in proper order. He has to look at the sky to remember what time it is. And most importantly, he has to revive everything. We tell Mommy if he doesn’t. Sometimes he also forgets to heal.