When a Reddit poster detailed his 5 year old son’s guide on how to play Guild Wars 2, I knew I had to share the way my two daughters (3 and 6) play the game. These are two gamer girls in training, and I want to share their “correct” way of playing Guild Wars 2. Without further ado…
It’s coming right for us!
It is impossible not to kill the little grey bunnies. We’ve tried, but our instincts tell us they were put there to die. Mommy does not like us killing defenseless little bunnies. We tell her they go red and attack us. We still make sure that Mommy knows when Daddy kills the bunnies though, even if he pretends to say it’s for life force.
Dyes Are Critical
Dyes are not just there to find a likable array and be done. If you aren’t changing your character’s dye job every few minutes, you are not making your fashionable mark on the world. Reasons to change color include: camouflage, elemental attunement, racial synergy, enemy defiance, mirroring NPC’s, or styling off another character.
Reviving > All
Revive anything and everything. If you have the gall to differentiate between a computer-controlled NPC and a real player, you might as well play a bad guy. Reviving is the most important action of combat. It creates harmony.
Cities Are For BASE Jumping
Cities are some of the best places to be. There are lots of people to talk to, and you can jump from anywhere! The best way to test the worth of a player is to climb a tall structure while they wait below unawares of their fate. Then fling yourself from the ledge making sure to faceplant in the dirt at their feet. If they revive you make sure to say “ty!”. If not, have in-depth discussions on why this person is a horrible human being.
One-Sided Role-Playing
The best people to roleplay with are the NPCs. They walk around. They talk. They play tag. They are much better than all the “players” standing around trying to figure out how to entertain themselves. NPCs also enjoy if you sit with them for a spell. Plop down and tell them of your adventures. They can speak three-year old typing too, just be sure to tell them directly what you wrote. If a mama wurm comes to eat cows, go console the NPCs by crying near them. Other people will take care of the wurm. Who will take care of the NPCs? There is one exception: the workers sitting down in Queensdale are “lazy bums”, and must be told so. (Try not to laugh while doing so.)
Adventuring on a Full Stomach
Some very nice NPCs will give you food. Not as much as you want, but if you help people out they will give you all the applesauce you can eat! You can eat five at once and be okay. Always save some for later. You never know when you’ll be stuck in the cold “norm” city for awhile with nothing to warm yourself with.
Look to the Sky
No really, just look at the sky. Stop and stare at the stars. Look at the sun. Find shapes in the clouds. Breath deep, seek peace.
Best Wintersday Ever
We are sad that Wintersday has gone. Big sister loved playing in snowball fights. She cackled every time she was able to smash another player as a giant snowball. Little sister loved that Daddy got her a forever princess tonic. Did you know you could join princess parades in the cities? Everybody should learn how to slow down and stroll around like a princess. Take things in small strides (see also Look to the Sky above). We can’t wait for the next holiday!
Six! Six. SIX! Press Six!
We love to watch Daddy play Guild Wars 2. Our favorite is when he goes in to the World to fight enemy colors. We try and sneak in there with our characters, but Daddy tells us it’s really hard. As cheerleaders for Daddy we make sure he follows all our rules. We nicely ask him to press “H” every 5 minutes to make sure his dyes are in proper order. He has to look at the sky to remember what time it is. And most importantly, he has to revive everything. We tell Mommy if he doesn’t. Sometimes he also forgets to heal.
–Ravious
TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CUTE!!! I wish there were little girls here to play. My siblings all had boys.
I can relate to the “must dye”. Until the youngest nephew was on his own account, I’d come back to find my character in all sorts of color combinations. I was aghast when he’d found it on his own, certain that he’d mistakenly bork something up in my hero selections like unused skill points or traits.
I realized one day watching him when he didn’t know I was looking, that the first thing he does on a new game is press every function key to see what it does. I habitually remap all options to a function key because I fight and strafe with the alpha keys.
My nephews also love the cities which I thought was strange and my son thought insane. But for them I suppose, it’s more like a little world in the cities and it’s safe.
Great stuff. Sometimes you need the kids to remind you that reviving is just good manners. Meanwhile, my rambunctious brood of FPSers would just kibitz on whether or not I am killing with efficiency, or not.
I still think that reviving is the best mechanic in GW2. Not a fan of the game as a whole, but there is something just so right about that mechanic.
P.S. and he LOVE events. They are just the most exciting thing in the world to him. Lots of players fighting together. It’s like being in a cartoon. He loves Cursed Shore for that reason. **hurl*** But he harvests and loots so I don’t care. LOL
Yep I’m with them on most point. Dyes are awesome, ressing is the right thing to do, going splat is funny, but most importantly of all the bunnies must go boom.
No, see the grey bunnies aren’t there to kill… it’s the oh-so-evil WHITE bunnies that need to die! Think back to EotN… that cute little white bunny in Drakkar Lake on the east side. It’s adorbs! Right until you follow it, as it encourages you to do, so it can lead you to that magical “hidden” place – where suddenly it turns evil and you are set upon by hordes of vile creatures intent on your destruction.
Death to all white bunnies in Tyria!
Adorable. Thanks for sharing :)
I hear the champion bunny in FOTM is a killer after a certain level range. I don’t ever want to know for sure.
They are spot on in how to play the game for maximum fun. So glad I can resist the dyes though, I can sell them to everyone who can’t.
Roleplaying with NPCs is awesomesauce. I’ve been telling hyleks they’re dumb bookahs for leaving their eggs in unfortified locations where krait can get them easily, and they just stare and blink at me like the uncivilized frogs they are.
So that’s what I was doing wrong?!
Cute! Changing dyes based on camouflage is very creative.
Cute idea. I wish it was written by a 5 year old. “racial synergy?” Colon punctuation? Nevertheless, it is nice to be reminded what a wonderful outlook they have and the contribution they bring to our lives. Of course some of that is their dead on, straight forward, simple language, and unsophisticated viewpoints. I’ll settle though for reading between the lines. Ty for the nice post.
You forgot to mention pets.
As my 8 year old daughter has taught me, all characters must have pets. And of course, if available, the mini for that pet. Because there is nothing more adorable than a character being followed around by a mommy and baby. And just as the ranger must have two ice drakes out at all times, the necromancer must have two Shades. This weekend my daughter made an elementalist and discovered (while cavorting in the mists) that they have an elite that creates a mommy and a utility that creates a baby. So with the mini, she’s now able to run around with this little Russian doll train of Ice Elementals. Never so happy.
In other words, kids are as big a cash-sink in-game as they are irl.
My 8 and 7 year old daughters play an hour or so on the weekends (more during holidays). My 8 year old has a 31 ranger she has played from scratch all by herself. That kind of blows me away. I gave her some general pointers at the beginning and asked her not to go where it was too hard. Not sure how she got 31 levels! Also every time I log in and see her character at select, sure enough, the dye colors are different :)
My 7 year old isn’t as hardcore as my 8 year old. She is content to stay in Lion’s Arch and swim and run around.
That Was an awesome read, I really like the perspective your children took towards the game. No worries about armour, levels or gold – Just pure enjoyments for the game as it is.
I’m a hoarder. My kids like dye bottles.
“Can we open the dye bottles?”
“No”
“Oooh, look, it’s another dye bottle. Can we open it?”
“No”
And…
“Run away! You’re going to die! Aaaah!”
“It’s OK, it’s under control, and please let go of my mouse arm”
This should be required reading for gamers, not just for the part on reviving etiquette but on making your own fun and not taking the game too seriously. Kids just “get” it.