The MacGyver Rule: Explained

You are probably familiar with the list of computer RPG cliches. Veterans of the genre are probably familiar with many variations, actually, and understand exactly what each reference means. This means that we have spent too much time in front of monitors instead of learning Spanish, dating, exercising, cleaning up litter, etc. Well, it’s a sunk cost now.

Anyway, your hero wields a sword. Your healer/mage/potential love interest has a staff. Beyond that, anything goes. Deck of cards? Great weapon. Umbrella? Now you’re talking! Plunger? You know some game has it. And, of course, the shops do a brisk trade in varying levels of those. Want to upgrade from a bronze parasol to a silver assault umbrella? Third shelf on the left, next to the exploding chicken eggs. No, under the mana-infused tortilla chips.

MMOs explain why this is coherent. Why in the world would there be a market for combat accordions? Because people would use them. Given the chance, players will make mechanical squirrels, exploding sheep, muffins of wondrous power, and carrot cake soup. These are not the most absurd items that really do exist in-game. In Asheron’s Call, not only can you one-shot high level monsters with a properly buffed pumpkin, but people have traded for dinner plates with nice attack mods. Engineers in World of Warcraft carry around jumper cables to rez, and I assume that Duct Tape of Healing is in the works, if it is not already around (10 linen, 6 Sparkling Duck Feathers, 4 Silver Spider Web Glands).

I refuse to look at the weapon list for Final Fantasy XI.

: Zubon