Recent Searches

I looked through the ways that Google sent us new friends in the last month. As a public service, I will answer some questions and direct people to the pages they were looking for. Also, I will mock some people, but I don’t think they’re ever coming back, so we will not hurt their feelings.

Let’s put it after the break, just in case this goes NSFW. My humble apologies to all the people who came to this site looking for ways to exterminate vermin. We are not that kind of site.

These are in roughly the order they appear in Google’s list. I will punt to others on the Kill Ten Rats team to answer the several hundred The Lord of the Rings Online™: Shadows of Angmar™-related searches.

People looking for Istvaan Shogaatsu and the Guiding Hand Social Club will want to look here.

Dating for Gamers remains a popular search. I have less advice for lasses dating gamers. I recommend A Girl’s Guide to Geek Guys. Nerdy or Not has a category devoted to that.

The many people here for Asheron’s Call 2 are looking for this. Ethic’s comments on the end of Asheron’s Call 2 is continually one of our most popular posts.

I think all the bikini and bikini wax searches are my fault, but I can blame Ethic for some of them. I have no idea how long it takes to heal from a bikini wax, nor how you would make your own wax. What does “over+under” imply in this context? I think you meant “bikini image” rather than “bikini mage,” but I am curious about the game that has that class. Rumors of Vivacious Badger-Mages in D&D 4E are probably untrue, though.

City of Heroes and Villains questions:
In City of Heroes and City of Villains, you can take Hover at 6 and Fly at 14. Those let you fly. You can also get a temporary jet pack from Mayhem Missions and Safeguard Missions, which will give you two hours’ worth of Fly at level 6. You get new CoX powers at even levels and new slots at odd levels, although this changes in the 30s (by which point you should know what you are doing anyway). You put enhancements in those slots by double-clicking “Enhancements” in the lower-right, then drag and drop. The respec contact in City of Heroes is in Galaxy City, in the building behind the trainer; in City of Villains, respec next to the trainer in Cap Au Diable; just type “/respec” if you have a free respec. Check the official boards for Ice Blaster and Thermal Corruptor builds, but I would recommend taking every Ice Blast power except Aim and Ice Storm, every Thermal power; I went Ice/Devices, so Aim was not much use to me. I went with Regeneration on my Stalker, which was probably a bad idea. You get the Fabricator Badge by crafting 10,000 things; inventions, base construction, and empowerments all count.

“are the councils supposed to be like nazis in coh?” No, they are Italian fascists. Think Mussolini, not Hitler. “”fifth column” +”city of heroes” +return” Soon. “why are the enemies in city of heroes so evil?” Because they are supervillains.

Yes, you must be online to play MMORPGs, including City of Villains. That’s what the O means. Age of Conan will have an offline early game.

“what is the point of chicken play?” Dude! A chicken! lolz!

To reset an instance in Dungeon Runners, right-click your name and pick that. The mage trainer is near the obelisk in Townston. I beat Widow Maker just by pouring out damage, with the occasional AE to clear bugs. Vergrim was harder: as a mage, I ran around a lot to avoid the exploding rats, then hit him with everything when my AEs were ready, since the poison AE was doing the most damage. I am told that melees have good luck just sticking to him and ignoring the other rats. Archers will want to shoot from melee range so they do not detonate the exploding rats. I am not an expert.

Sweet mother of pearl, do NOT play Hero Online. I understand why all you people are searching for bots: you don’t want to play it yourselves. I recommend ProgressQuest. I am looking forward to the Kongregate version, which is not yet fully featured.

“world of warcraft dating sim”: I admit to being curious. I am less curious about “eve online sex chat channel” but I assume it is there. I do not know if there are “furries of “tabula rasa” game,” and please do not tell me.

“buy gyrocoptors”: Pick one up for me while you’re there.

“cancel comcast”: Not a bad call, but our connectivity has mostly been pretty good lately.

“do you know who this girl is”: I don’t have her last name. I think she lives near Portland. Good lord, she is hot.

“eve online new player catch up?”: No, you cannot. On a relative scale, yes, but you will always be behind in absolute skill points.

“easiest way to kill lots of people”: AE damage. Please mean in-game.

“game how to crush your xbox!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”: Please never play anything I play.

“gaves that you can be a mage of a worer or a healer for free hat you play with other peaple”: Please please never play anything I play.

Some searches were obviously for us: “guys who are better looking”

“how to get your wife to play with another woman”: Mario Kart works for me, as does Karaoke Revolution.

“how to spam the looking for fellowship channel in lotro”: Please never play anything I play.

“kill my wife games”: Mario Kart is not really PK in that sense. It’s just a turtle shell. She does not actually die.

“mad rogue skills”: I don’t have them. Any other rat-hunters?

“men dont like real naked women”: Really? “large breasted night elves”; “naked night elf”; “naked women and dragons”; “night elf strippers.” She might be right. On the other hand, “naked girls who have hair on their underarms”; “naked women”; “the best looking naked women ever.” “rats feed on nude girl” could go either way.

“my wife has started saying i’m doing stupid things, when i’m not, she says i’ve said things constantly, that i only had said one time.”: I cannot help you. I do not know if anyone can.

“planet zubon”” Yes!

“watch the last unicorn”” You should totally do that.

: Zubon

9 thoughts on “Recent Searches”

  1. “No, they are Italian fascists. ” They were nazis at release, though. Humorously, “nazi” was blocked by their word filter, thus I would often see “Hey, want to do a %%#@ mission?” They changed it, due to RL reasons that were good, and executed it in perhaps one of the smoothest ways I’ve ever seen a major company change something. They should have made more noise about it – it would have only added to it.

    Oh, and micro heliocopters are quite possibly the greatest thing ever.

  2. “how to get your wife to play with another woman”: Mario Kart works for me, as does Karaoke Revolution.

    …Right, that does it for me. Managed to spray a fine stream of alka-seltzer infused water across the screen, and my hangover’s pounding worse than ever before. Thanks a lot…

  3. I’m going to shamelessly steal this post idea, perhaps making it a weekly mini-post. Some of the stuff that shows up is quite classic.

  4. my wife has started saying i’m doing stupid things, when i’m not, she says i’ve said things constantly, that i only had said one time

    That could be any married man.

  5. Ha! After my latest post about the waterspouts I saw last week, I’ve gotten a couple hits for “Carlsbad Watersports.” I sure hope that was more innocent than it sounds.

    Great idea! I’d love to see this as a regular feature here.

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