Regarding recent so-called “player-versus-player” activity:
While you may have technically gotten a “kill” from me, I would like to point out that I was lagging at the time, and possibly AFK and/or typing a message to someone. I should further note that, even under these imbalanced conditions, you felt it necessary to bring several of your “friends” with you, as you could not do this on your own. I believe that your availing yourself of this further exploit demonstrates the fundamental weakness of your character and that of all the players on your team.
I might go on to note that you are, in fact, lame, and most likely homosexual in a derogatory sense. This is demonstrated by your number of kills, which indicates either that you are a new player below my consideration or someone who spends far too much time playing and only accumulates such a body count through wasting endless hours in an unskillful manner. In either case, your lack of ability is clearly demonstrated in this instance. I feel it incumbent upon me to point out the superiority of my genitals to yours, and upon further investigation, I have some observations to make upon your mother’s.
I find it entirely inappropriate for you to be carrying on in this manner about what is, to one of my wisdom and experience, a minor affair that should surely have been dismissed by now. Your inability to admit your error in this circumstance further demonstrates your personal failings, and by association those of the other members of your team. Not, I should hasten to add, that the other players on my team are any better, as I constantly need to carry them through my Herculean efforts. At any rate, I have not heard either of your previous comments, as I already have you on ignore, because you clearly have nothing further of value to add to this discussion of your personal shortcomings. Surely, you would be too cowardly to say such things if you were within my grasp, instead of hidden safely behind your monitor. We shall add this posturing to your list of deficiencies.
In summary, if I may re-iterate, your mother. Yours in fellowship,