[GW2] The Crab Grab Hustle

Temporarily, the crazy refugees of Southsun Cove have come up with possibly the most masochistic game in Tyria. Surrounded by hostile wildlife that is attacking each and every settlement (at least the omelet-free ones), the free peoples have decided to design a game around a small Succulent Crab, which seems like one of the favorite foods of the karka. A mad game of solo keepaway ensues with planks, fishing poles, mad karka hatchlings, and giant rolling karka. Life imitates art, and the insanity of this game bleeds through to the Guild Wars 2 player.  Welcome to Crab Toss.

Objectively, the rules are simple: Hold the one crab. All sorts of things get in this way. First off other random players with their 4 Crab Toss skills will try and knock it out of the crab carrier’s hands. These skills are further supplemented by items strewn about the battlefield such as a plank of wood to bash people good, or a conch which fears everybody, or a fishing pole to swipe the crab from afar. If that weren’t enough karka hatchlings are constantly gunning for the crab carrier with their usual debuff explosion, and a few veteran karkas feel that this little piece of beach is the perfect place to imprint some player faces in to the sand.

What do you do when you are holding the crab? Run. Dodge. Dash (hold the skill down). And try and pick up any items you can along the way. Everybody will be gunning for you. Get a decent score and you get a green item and a karka shell or some other stuff. Winning is not necessary.

Subjectively, this is madness. There is skill involved. Being able to outmaneuver the crab carrier AND the herd of players usually results in a higher score. Being able to utilize each item properly usually results in a higher score. However it is just as likely someone will start swinging away with their plank in the middle of the mob or a veteran karka will decide that “yeah, now is actually a good time to squish” right after you depleted your dodge bar.

I am also noticing a lot of lag in the game, and sometimes it just doesn’t make sense when things fire off. My client or the server is unsure if I am squished, knocked down, or dashing around. It is chaos within the game, between my computer and the servers, and in my head and on my keyboard.

I think few players would care beyond a game or two but for the achievements. Want all bars filled for Secret of Southsun? Then you will be playing Crab Toss a lot. Crab-Carrying Competitor and Crabgrabber are going to be the time-ensured achievements. Play long enough and any player will be able to accomplish them. Crab Toss Champion, well good luck. And you’ll need it. Winning feels about luck as much as skill.

Crabtacular! is the one that has people in a tizzy. Basically you have to be holding the crab while everybody else has been smooshed by a veteran karka. This means that the one guy AFK in the corner pretending to be scoping you away from the herd can ruin it all. I like how someone put it as ‘an achievement not based on you winning, but everybody else losing.’

All of these are not required for getting the meta-achievements for the shiny, tentacly back item. It’s just that for a completionist, it can be a little frustrating.

I am having fun with it, but then I also accidentally got Crabtacular! somehow. I guess theoretically with all the chaos and players coming in and quitting there is some non-normalized chance of getting the achievement. I don’t expect much from the minigame, and I much prefer to run about Southsun hunting instigators. However, I don’t mind this gaming aside, but then I expect chaos.

I feel with Crab Toss in mind, I like that ArenaNet keeps trying new things. A chaotic, solo Keg Brawl was kind of fun, kind of frustrating. It’s going away soon if it is a blight upon your Guild Wars 2. Sometimes I sit upon an ancient karka’s carcass and remember days of yore as good/bad as they were. So I guess I am going to make a few more memories as good/bad as they will be with Crab Toss. See you underneath a rolling karka soon!


3 thoughts on “[GW2] The Crab Grab Hustle”

  1. Personally I’m amused of number of bugs that this minigame is stuffed with. For 2 days, my dash skill didn’t work properly. Sometimes, while I was holding button no.3 my character felt that the best thing to do is to stand in place. Or stop in middle of run, just to stick there for another 2 seconds (yeah, I know it’s charged skill).
    I won game like 10 times before I got my achievement. In first day, there was a bug, that was awarding up to 5 players the winner achievement, for just being in game. I didn’t had so much luck. I won twice in first day – with no accomplishment for daily or SS achives. When I got it? Yesterday – by being almost last… and yesterday is two days after Anet apparently fixed winning bug. Not that I’m complaining – I deserved it before, but I just can’t feel rewarded. It was sweat and tears to get this first win, it was rage and a lot of curse to get second. Another +-8 were done during normal gameplay (on top of rage) and what? I got it by bug, because I was online in good place on good time. So rewarding, I can’t even explain the beauty of rainbows I barfed on my keyboard.
    Crabtacular achievement – another funny stuff. I was determined to get it during normal gameplay. I capitulated yesterday. Since then done 3 matches, where people agreed to stand in middle and die, just that everyone could get that amusing achievement. Me and other 2 guys couldn’t make it. Yep, we had crab, everyone was rolled by karka, but no achi. 1 game. Ok, let’s try another – team was so nice, that they sticked together, to let us try again. And again. After 2 matches only 2 of us left without title. No matter how sqush squash efficient was the karka rollers, we didn’t get what we came for. In third match my fellow in arms got crabtaculator and left game as fast as he could. His place took guy who didn’t want to cooperate, so people begun leaving. Yeah – Im soooo the “last man standing”, that irony literally kills me.
    I swear – I love crab tossing, fingers crossed -_-

    1. To finish whining about bugs. I got craptaculator! Yeay.
      I grabbed crab, karka rolled over me, I died and puff – got the achievement. GW2 mislead the “last man standing” with “only man with face in the mud”. It’s not even funny getting those achievements for nothing. It only strengthen feeling of chaos. Not like crab tossing is too chaotic or anything.
      Yh – just few more crab steals and nevermore!

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