Recent Searches

Previously

Due to popular demand after the last batch of search results, we hereby present more. As a note, if you are worried about your odd search being tracked back to you, do not worry. I have no idea how to do that with Google Analytics, if it is at all possible. This is purely anonymous mockery, combined with useful answering of questions. The five of you who came here searching for “zubon is my hero” can rest assured that your secret is safe with me. Such as it is. Also, you are not alone.

Again, let’s push this off the main page, since we will probably have a few naughty words.

Variations on the site name are 4 of the top 10, which is reassuring. People are still looking for “cybercat atitd” and istvaan shogaatsu.

“sex” is #4. They must be clicking the others’ posts, because I have never gotten sex from this site. Seriously, though, send a picture with your request, preferably of you.

Sorry, we have no “plant tycoon spoilers.” Try that link. I have not read everything on that site, but it seems to be helpful.

Many people want to “cancel comcast” or find out “how to cancel comcast.” Try 1-800-577-2345. You may be on hold for a while.

Searches for The Lord of the Rings Online™: Shadows of Angmar™ information, searches for specific posts, more The Lord of the Rings Online™: Shadows of Angmar™ searches… I am just going down the list here. No artifice at all. You are learning about them as I do. Again, Dungeon Runners: reset instances by right-clicking your name and choosing that option.

chicken play,” dude, lol!

“mmorpgs suck (no closed parenthesis) and [“tabula rasa” “review” “negative”] might want Zero Punctuation.

“‘project p’ furry” might be interested in the Schrödinger’s Cat Trilogy, which is not safe for small children. It discusses Project Pan. Hey, there is an online version. It is still NSFW, even without pictures.

715738d8daa160d4b9e2d1c078b613b9cbe92479bb3312ddc203b263c0570005: I am curious about this one, since at the moment it returns 0 documents.

“a game you play with little people and kill an talk”: Yes! Welcome to MMOs!

“absolute best pvp class for end game”: Any particular game you are thinking of there, hoss? Because taking an EVE Online ship into World of Warcraft could be the best way, if you are not world-specific. There is even WoW justification for spaceships arriving, so go nuts with your capital-class ship. PK all of Stormwind at once.

“ac2 forever”: Forever!

I am glad that someone was looking for “angmar+facts,” because there are a lot of lies about Angmar out there. Let Angmar be Angmar!

“arena resto druid stategies”: I have nothing. Anyone?

“blood elf clothes patch”: This is a nice change from the people looking for patches to make blood elves nude. Good man.

“can you crush your own skull”: Yes, with the right tools. Doing so with your bare hands will be very difficult, although you could probably make yourself black out.

“cancel all naked women searches”: That is right, all of them. If he finds out how to do this, none of you will ever be able to find porn again. Crap, how do I track down this user?

“coh fire tank status protection”: Pretty good, but you still have knockback to worry about. Most people take Acrobatics, but two or three of the anti-knockback IOs could do it for you. One or two will usually do, but when you hit the aggro cap, you need a lot of protection with that many little KB hits coming in.

“comcast kills world of warcraft”: Maybe that is why we have dozens of hits from people looking to cancel.

“do rats kill people”: Why else would we hunt them?

“download book “mmo evolution” free”: Nicodemus, any help here?

“draenei hentai”: I… what? I had never thought of it before, but it must be out there. Oh lord, do they have tentacles? I refuse to go look. I remember tentacles. I need a shower now. brb

You people think I am making this up, but no, these are real results, and I did just take a shower. If “draenei hentai” did not put a bad image in your head, that might.

“easy grinding mmorpg”: WoW is about to add that. Sword of the New World lets you level AFK. I should post some comments about that game sometime.

Now the EQ2 and EVE questions. Sorry, can’t help you there. “everquest 2 a loot centric game”: true. “everquest decline”: also true.

“free play walk around the street kill games like l.a”: At least you are letting that aggression out on virtual people. Also, you are too cheap to buy bullets, which I respect.

“friendship phrases with hidden meanings”: Hidden as in “I don’t want to be just friends or as in “I smile, but I am secretly planning to kill you”? ‘Cause I feel both about you, and I don’t have a phrase that captures that, so if you find one, let me know.

“funny swg nge”: Oh yeah. People thought that surprise was hilarious. Man, we never saw that punchline coming, especially after the expansion.

Why do I have like seven variations on “furry friends camelot”? I know it comes from my Earth Eternal posts, but why Camelot? And why do I have all the slightly different ways of searching for it? Is there a Dark Age of Furries expansion coming from EA Mythic?

“griefer for hire”: see istvaan shogaatsu.

“guild wars furry”: Really? Is that new?

“help me kill ten minutes”: And yet this person clicked away in less than a minute.

“how to consume potion in minions of mirth”: Huh, never heard of that one. Maybe they have something about potions on the site.

“just kill cs”: Do you hate Counter-Strike or customer service?

“kill kill kill online games”: Do the other two kills help?

“kill the horse game”: No no, we just beat dead horses here. We let other people kill them first.

“kill the woman flash game”: Again, what is with you people?

“killing the weakened hamidon”: That is a lot of fun. Just do it the same way you normally would, one color at a time, except that you do not have massive death. This is the coolest part of the Lady Grey Task Force.

Wow, an entire screen of The Lord of the Rings Online™: Shadows of Angmar™ searches. Google sorts them by frequency then alphabetically, and we are into the “once” searches. That is a lot of hobbits rifling through our stuff.

“mayberry mmo”: Aunt Bea Online?

“night elf chick strippers”, “night elf strippers”: You really do not need to search hard for those. Aren’t they dancing everywhere in town?

“people are easy to kill online”: More importantly, you can get away with it easily online.

“picture of a bucket of apples”: image search is your friend.

“ping city of heroes servers latency guardian virtue”: I would just log onto each server and use “/netgraph 1” It will show your latency.

“pvp city building mmo”: Age of Conan or Shadowbane. If you want browser-based, try Travian.

“rat too too we moves”: … what?

Lots of people are looking for consoles vs. PCs. I went PC, but we are slowly accumulating consoles.

“sex real kill”, “sex ten”: The first I kinda get. Ten what? Or does your species have ten sexes? Pics or it didn’t happen.

“sex yunk”: Now it all makes sense.

“sharding your purple”: wer in ur bagz, shardn ur purplz

“some things that are in a desert”: If A Tale is to be believed, laser light shows, way back in the stone age.

“superhero games you can play”: Yes, you have found the right site. Maybe I should talk about CoX more, since I am playing it again.

“tabula rasa better than wow”: This is the first time I have ever seen those words used together.

“tabula rasa can’t log on”, “tabula rasa can;t login”: I see those more often

“treating raw wood lotro”: “It’s a trap!

“warcraft boobies”: Are you friends with the guys looking for strippers?

“where did the swaztikas originate?”: Holy cow, we are on the first page for that search. Crazy.

If folks continue to find these amusing, we will return to the list in a few weeks to see what other words bring people to the site. As a result of this sentence, we will successfully appear on “seersucker goatherd parabola” searches. I am so proud.

: Zubon

8 thoughts on “Recent Searches”

  1. [“download book “mmo evolution” free”: Nicodemus, any help here?]

    Bastards! Its only $22.95 on amazon. Cut a guy a break eh? Anyway, if you REALLY want an e-version, go to http://www.curiousraven.com, hook me up with a reasonable donation and I’ll email it to you. Sheesh.

    [because I have never gotten sex from this site.]

    Really? I’m not the only one, am I?

    [“rat too too we moves”: … what?]

    Ratatouille movies. Presumably a noob looking to download the recent movie, or other ones about the character. shrug.

  2. re: arena resto druid strategies

    Start the fight in stealthed in catform. Really screws up their vibe when they’re expecting pounce/kidney shot and see a swiftmend instead.

  3. sex yunk? huh? um… did you happen to save the IP of that search? Maybe I will get sex from your site even if you don’t! woohoo!

    I think the “rat too too we moves” might have meant “rat tutu wii moves” if you want to pretend to be a rat in a tutu on your wii.

  4. “[because I have never gotten sex from this site.]

    Really? I’m not the only one, am I?”

    I had the site go down on me once. Does that count?

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