The next several weeks are busy in MMO land. Almost everyone seems to have an expansion or major update before Boxing Day. Some of you are looking forward to big changes to your favorite games.
And then we have my blogger friends. As much as you want your game to do well, you know deep in your black hearts that you already have a post mentally drafted about how the opposing game failed. Like a jilted lover, you heap scorn and derision upon the one that already failed you. You are working on new metaphors for queues and crashes, dreaming up death knight puns, and rehearsing old arguments about inability to maintain balance, to say nothing of grinds, bugs, and the other horrors of a fresh release. Come, recite with me the litany of failure to meet sales expectations.
To assist you in your path of snark and bile, we turn to author John Scalzi: How to Make a Schadenfreude Pie. Mix its dark ingredients as you stir old resentments. Listen for your oven timer when what you really want to hear is the cries of the fools who stayed behind when you moved to a better game. Feast upon its chocolate malignancy while you hunger for reports of emergency patches that do not quite work. Combine it with a glass of milk that turns to bitter gall as you still thirst for the tears of those who thought they were moving to greener pastures.
To the baking goods aisle, and on to — no, not to victory — to vengeance!
H/T: Book of Grudges