[GW2] The Need for Ewoks

ArenaNet drops another great lore post written by the fantastical Jeff Grubb on one of the non-player character (“NPC”) races, the quaggans. Whereas the amphibian krait are an evil race where players should give them all kill-on-sight status, the equally amphibious quaggans are the polar opposites. On a purely hyperbolic course, the quaggans are the underwater ewoks of Guild Wars 2.

They are the mostly harmless species of lovable, cuddle-able, wuvabl… I mean, my charr warrior will occasionally do a drive-by fistpound on these beluga muffins. The quaggan are a slightly primitive, refugee-race with interesting and cute quirks. For instance, they are too polite to use self-referential pronouns so a compliment on dinner would be “quaggan likes quaggan’s gourmet use of quaggan’s prized coral tips.” Perhaps, using a continua device to have the vortigaunts of the Half Life universe teach the quaggan on the clarifying use of “this” could be helpful.

The quaggans seem to represent the unfortunate victims of plot causality, which given their lovable design makes the whole race a veritable damsel in distress. The feeling of this race is that characters would instantly want to help, socialize, and befriend these primitive pillow pets. How could any player with a soul not feel a tugging when he hears “quaggan sad” as the jigglypuff looks to the sea floor like a beaten puppy?

Yet, like the cannibalistic ewoks, the quaggans too have a dark side. When provoked they can hulk out in a rage and fury that would make an eco-warrior werewolf blush. Any still living thing around after the quaggan regains its mental faculties will, of course, get an immediate apology. Yet, the quaggans try very hard to keep this absolute faux pas from happening. This is ironically why they are refugees from the black-hearted krait.

What’s going to be interesting is if players will be drawn to immediately helping the quaggans? It is likely that they will get bullied / eaten / enslaved within a few minutes, and that norn ox-driver can defend himself through the dark forest, probably anyway. Either way, I can’t wait to see one hulk out in game.

–Ravious

18 thoughts on “[GW2] The Need for Ewoks”

  1. The underwater ewoks look like dolphins with a mood based orca-killer transformation mode.

    I think they are the coolest NPC race so far. Armored bears don’t really do it for me but exploring Flipper’s dark side sounds kinda neat and cool.

  2. Just to be pedantic, ewoks aren’t cannibals. They were going to eat the humans, not ewoks.

    1. I think generally in fantasy/sci-fi it’s considered cannibalism if it’s another sapient being, even if said being isn’t of one’s own species.

  3. Ah, yes, I suppose they are the Ewoks of the sea… though the Star Wars reference I came up with was Wookiees. The way that “hulking out” is treated by the community reminded me of nothing more than the social stigma among that people of being a “madclaw” (one who, in a bout of rage, reverts to primitivism and attacks another with his claws).

    So… basically they’re a race of beluga-Ewoks that become madclaw Hulks. Fun stuff!

  4. Looking foward to the hulked out Quaggan mini pet. I expect plenty of lols to be had from that one.

  5. No fish-based entity can be “cute”.

    Actually, nothing without fur can really be “cute”, although a few non-fish-based, non-furry entities can aspire to be “kinda cute”.

    Those quaggans look repulsive. But then, so did Ewoks and they HAD fur.

  6. The only thing concerning me about the quaggan, is if they take away anything from the asura.

    The asura are incredibly intelligent, yet they have this absurd side, *and* in gw1, Vekk has this great animation where he suddenly goes feral and bares his teeth. That’s awfully like the quaggan, and I hope its still a part of gw2 asura.

    1. The Asura are arrogant and superior, and the humour in things like their irrational hatred of the skritt comes from undermining the image they build for themselves. The quaggan by contrast are a gentle, polite and very humble race who occasionally snap.

      I think the Asura have a vehemence about things (particularly whatever their work centres on) which means that their feral side is never that far from the surface! Any, just imagine how the races would react to each other: Asura would probably think the quaggan were pathetic pushovers with no ambition, and the quaggan would try to avoid insulting any Asura (which is often very difficult…)

  7. I don’t care how you cut it, Ewoks are wicked, EVIL creatures with black hearts! Vader should have pulled a EP II move while he was down there waiting for Luke and slaughtered them like animals.

    In other news… I like Quaggan.

  8. They may be cute, but I will withhold my judgment until I have interacted with them in game. I’m a mother/grandmother and tend to mistrust “cuteness.”

  9. Cute is usually a ploy. Consider: why would anyone bother with a screaming poop-machine if it wasn’t incredibly cute?

    1. I liked someone’s theory that the Asura appeared more cute in GW2 than in Eye of the North because of natural selection; intelligent Asura realised that if their experiments damaged things accidentally, other races were more likely to let an Asura they percieved as cute off the hook!

  10. The real question is, will the Quaggan also throw a hippie dance party when we blow up the Death Star?

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