Meta-PR

I have been hating on PR lately, but what sort of PR do you use to snow people who believe their own PR? The Arnell Group figured it out. I could leave the commentary to Bruce Webster, but I, like Language Log before me, feel the need to highlight. They have covered the text (“Emotive forces shape the gestalt of the brand identity.”) well, so let me outline the visual explanations.

• Page 3 explains how the new Pepsi logo was developed by sending DNA into the future and then backtracking a bit.
• Page 5 relates the logo to 5000-year-old Hindu traditions and the Mona Lisa.
• There are nine pages of loops that have a tenuous relationship to anything in the world, but claim proprietary geometry to Pepsi, so don’t you go using circles and ovals.
• Page 21 claims a relationship to the Earth’s core, its magnetic field, and … no, that’s completely incoherent.
• Two pages of molested happy faces follow. Show me on the Pepsi can where the bad man touched you.
• Page 26 shows how a sufficient quantity of Pepsi (3) will create a relativistic gravitational pull, sucking the shopper through the wall of the aisle and into a spherical Pepsi aisle. This may relate to page 24, which shows how 2D figures can transform into 3D figures. Mario simply failed to move correctly.
• It concludes with the creation of the universe, in which units of distance are equal to units of velocity. There is an exponentially expanding 8 light year Pepsi universe.

: Zubon