The word “schadenfreude” referrs to the guilty pleasure of watching other people fail. It’s like watching the Angry Video Game Nerd play Superman 64.
Today’s dose of schadenfreude comes from reading Eurogamer’s review of Darkfall. Eurogamer isn’t known for being the harshest reviewers in the biz. Dofus and and Conan both earned 8 out of 10 by their estimation. Even Pirates of the Burning Sea, which they describe as “broken” and “disjointed”, can get by with six-thumbs-up out of 10. So how did Darkfall Online fair? It got just 2 out of 10.
Here’s some quotes from the review that had me laughing:
“Enemies’ AI boils down to running in circles, which is actually surprisingly effective, considering how slow and floaty the controls tend to be.”
“Not even old-school EverQuest – which was actually graphically superior- felt quite as stiflingly slow and ponderous in its levelling curve.”
“It doesn’t even have the basic features that make up even the most lackluster and dull cookie-cutter MMOs”
“Underneath the lack of originality, there’s a hole where the game should be: a loose, incongruous mess of bad controls, horrible user interface, and broken combat system.”
“Even if you were so inclined to take part in this painful experience, it’s rather difficult to actually buy it.”
“It’s the emperor’s new clothes of 2009: such a marvellous game that only an idiot wouldn’t realise the beauty of the gaping holes in its content, its wonky control system, and its seemingly decade-old engine”