I’ve heard you can either leave it graveside or pour some off. The choice of action is mine when the events leading up to it are well out of my control. This is not so dire as a real life death, but when a core guild member abruptly leaves the feelings follow a similar path of remorse and remembrance.
The guilds I find usually have two basic principles: (1) play the game the way you want to spend your precious time playing, and (2) keep the air clear. What my guilds lack in purpose is well made up for it in community. People come and go (mostly leaving for something less casual), but a core group of guildies remains. Occasionally someone in the core group will leave as well. It sucks, but it sucks more when they leave on bad terms.
I came back from the weekend (playing Borderlands) to find that a cornerstone member in one of my guilds had left. There were no goodbyes, and the offending problem was only pieced together through communal hearsay. Was it the proverbial single piece of straw or a nuclear level interfacing? Could it have been avoided with a little mediation? Will the person come back? We are left with a gaping hole, and so like in real life we do the only thing we can: learn and move on.
I wish, like a sagacious father, I had some parable to tell. Some wise words for all invested guild members everywhere to part with. But, I don’t. I don’t even have a cautionary story to tell because this one is not mine to make. It’s just part of the unspoken dark side that comes with making real connections to people in an online game. Just remember that with only ~7% of human communication being literal, the smiley face can do wonders.
the illusion that it has taken place