Kill Ten Rats

The next several weeks are busy in MMO land. Almost everyone seems to have an expansion or major update before Boxing Day. Some of you are looking forward to big changes to your favorite games.

And then we have my blogger friends. As much as you want your game to do well, you know deep in your black hearts that you already have a post mentally drafted about how the opposing game failed. Like a jilted lover, you heap scorn and derision upon the one that already failed you. You are working on new metaphors for queues and crashes, dreaming up death knight puns, and rehearsing old arguments about inability to maintain balance, to say nothing of grinds, bugs, and the other horrors of a fresh release. Come, recite with me the litany of failure to meet sales expectations.

To assist you in your path of snark and bile, we turn to author John Scalzi: How to Make a Schadenfreude Pie. Mix its dark ingredients as you stir old resentments. Listen for your oven timer when what you really want to hear is the cries of the fools who stayed behind when you moved to a better game. Feast upon its chocolate malignancy while you hunger for reports of emergency patches that do not quite work. Combine it with a glass of milk that turns to bitter gall as you still thirst for the tears of those who thought they were moving to greener pastures.

To the baking goods aisle, and on to — no, not to victory — to vengeance!

: Zubon

H/T: Book of Grudges

Gaming blogosphere: your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to discuss a game that was published before 2003, preferably one that has seen few or no updates since 2003. Tell us about the game, what you liked, what you didn’t, and what lessons we should take from it for our current generation of games.

Why? First, nostalgia is fun. I remember the original Kirby fondly. At LAN parties, we will sometimes dig up Warcraft 2 or something similarly non-cutting edge. It need not be new to be fun, and many old games are still in play because they are still worth playing. Why do computer games go away after a few years when people are still playing baseball and solitaire?

Second, we can learn something. You may not have heard of someone’s favorite game, or you might never have tried it because Katamari Damacy looked a little too weird. New to you is key. But learning from is not just learning of. At IMGDC, Brian Green discussed inspiration from other media. What should Funcom have taken from the original Ninja Gaiden? Are there gameplay elements from Settlers of Catan that could have saved Asheron’s Call 2? This industry has a horrible habit of reinventing the wheel. There are lots of perfectly good wheels in the discount bin.

Please, add links in the comments. Old reviews of old games also work: the internet is forever.

: Zubon

We had Shiny Happy Week here at Kill Ten Rats to say good things about various MMOs, including older ones. GamersInfo.net (also introduced to me at IMGDC) has a policy encouraging reviewing ancient games. And I’ll gesture towards my book blog, where pre-release reviews lie alongside the ancients. I need to get The Iliad up there sometime.

I have been visiting the Kingdom of Loathing lately. Some of you may remember my fondness for it, but I have not touched it much for a year. This is like going back after an expansion pack.

There are some new familiars available. I like familiars. I may not use very many, but I like having a stable of little pet friends. [Update: a commenter fairly notes that this post is completely incomprehensible if you do not know the game. Ha, and I don’t play WoW, so I had to learn a second language to read your blog! Anyway, this is your break point if you don’t play.]

I found myself parked at the start of the level 11 quest on a level 13 character (I think I played with holiday events for a level or two). This is a long quest, the sort of epic that would require hours of horse-riding in an MMO. Conveniently, travel time is as long as it takes to load a web page. It kick-starts pretty quickly when you are at the cap for daily adventures, and I got to see much of the post-NS-13 content that was added to force you into more zones. Still not a lot new, but it was familiar and pleasant. The Naughty Sorceress is a bit of a bear, since I parked as a Hardcore Sauceror, probably the worst option for that last fight even with more than a dozen Hardcore ascensions under my Boss Bat Britches. I am debating between leveling a bit to raise my Moxie (useful for Hobopolis later) and using the favorite strategy of “get beaten until she stops blocking so much.”

I have not touched Hobopolis yet. It looks interesting, but its level of grind is designed for a guild. It costs 10,000,000 meat to open and it takes 100 turns to get through the sewers to begin it, with thousands of turns of fights to get to the end. I am not deeply in-touch with the KoL community, especially after a year away, so this could be a potentially interesting and very large solo project.

I also parked on the way to a Bad Moon ascension, with no clover use during the run. I recall something about the path to Bad Moon having changed, but I hope this still works. If all goes well, that will be the next big project after solo-clearing Hobopolis (and getting some trophies along the way). I will let you know how it goes.

: Zubon

I had a new roof put on the old homestead. The contractor finished a bit late, but he got most of it done. At least 90% of it is up there, which should be good, since I don’t use all my rooms at once anyway. He has a maintenance plan, under which time is split between building new rooms at the same quality and putting up some shingles in the existing gaps. I am thinking of signing up for the multi-month subscription.

: Zubon

What is up with the people who trawl from blog to blog hating a particular game or developer? They must spend more time doing that than the fans spend writing about them. And they are quite often within the first few commenters, so they must be camping that RSS feed.

: Zubon

Do you know him? He is a legal legend, a bored and/or unstable prisoner who has launched cases against almost every noun known to exist and not a few adjectives. Previous complaints have run to 57+ pages of defendents, including George W. Bush, Pope Benedict XVI, Accuweather.com, Nuclear Power Plant, Tony Danza, Magna Carta, “tsunami victims,” “Jewish workers at NBC/Universal,” Plato, “various Buddhist monks,” Denny’s, “Vern Minni Me,” Michael J. Fox, PETA, Liberty Bell… Virtually Blind reports that he has filed a amicus curaie brief in a case against Blizzard. Sadly, the brief is a single page and relatively coherent in comparison with his previous work.

Some suggest that we ignore trolls, in meatspace or online. This one is sufficiently entertaining to be worth noting.

: Zubon

Yes, he really claims a “©” in his name.